Its A Little Ditty Called Life

An "important" issue to many conservatives minds is the great debate on same-sex marriage. Now I am not here to bash anyone or any religion. I grew up Roman Catholic, and even went to a Catholic grade school and high school, but this issue has a deep meaning to me. When I came out, my sister was extremely mad at me because she had me as my niece's godfather. She even went to tell me how she wished she would of known before the baptism so she could of gotten someone better, and I should of known since where I went to school. On the religious side in school we were taught that being homosexual is not a sin. However, the act of homosexuality is. Other religions take a different stand on this subject saying that homosexuals in general (act or not) are an abomination and will go straight to hell. As a young homosexual male I find both these idea's with mixed emotions. In the Bible, Jesus Christ gives us the two greatest commandments: "Thy shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself." We are also instructed by Jesus Christ not to judge, with such stories as the Pharisees and the woman who was caught in the act of adultery. He said "Let he who among you without sin cast the first stone."

So explain to me first before I go into the whole same-sex marriage thought on how can these "Christian" people say that I, or anyone else who is homosexual, will go to hell, or even have the audacity to condemn something that I cannot handle. I am pretty sure that these people who are doing the condemning have committed a sin or two. We all have, we are human. For Christianity to be a loving and forgiving ideology it just seems to be a double standard. The Bible is law to these individuals, however this is a book that was written over a thousand years ago when several things were illegal and considered a sin. It was also written in Aramaic, Hebrew, and Greek and were translated and copied by hand several times before the invention of the printing press. Take into consideration trying to learn a new language or having a language barrier. There are words in the English language that are not in any other language, such as there are words in the Spanish language that we can't really put into an English phrase because its slang.

People use the story of Sodom and Gomorrah to refute the fact that homosexuality is a sin. If you look to the context of the passage (Romans 1:18-28) it talks about how these women and men left their instinct to be with the opposite sex to be with the same sex. This is not simply the case for homosexuals. DESPITE what many believe, we do not choose to be gay. Or at least I didn't choose to live a life of torment and judgement from others who have no idea about me other than the fact that I am attracted to the same sex.
Another passage used to put down homosexuals is Leviticus 18:22 "Thou should not lay with a man as another lays with a female, it is detestable." While this seems to be a key passage many conservative Christians use to defend their stance, you cannot simply look at one sentence in a passage. If you read the entire passage, the whole "rules" deals with adultery.

Now that we have a little bit of background on the whole Same-Sex/Religion argument, its time to tackle same-sex marriage.

Many of those people who oppose same-sex marriage use religious beliefs to support their stance. They use the reasons that marriage is for procreation, marriage is an institution between a man and woman, gay relationships are immoral and violate the sacred institute of marriage by God, marriage is to preserve the continuation of the species, they shouldn't have to alter heterosexuality marriage because that is the traditional marriage, churches would have to allow gays to get married, allowing gays to marry will cause a slippery-slope to incest, bestiality etc, even to the point of saying that if gay's want to get married all they have to do is become straight.

Like I said earlier, I am not here to bash anyone or any religion, however, if you feel bashed, I am sorry. You chose to read this blog. I am just exercising a RIGHT I have because I live in the free world.

To tackle a few statements right off the back. No, marriage is for UNITY and procreation. If you want to start a war on this, why not start a war of pre-marital sex and contraceptives as well. Do not just encompass same-sex marriage as something that does not allow for procreation. What about those individuals who get married and do not want kids? They sure aren't using their CIVIL RIGHT to procreate and preserve the species.  The one thing the people are forgetting to mention is UNITY. Marriage is a union between two individuals. This union is to promote unity between the two and also families.

For NOM (National Organization of Marriage) who uses the idea of the slippery-slope to bestiality. All I have to say is really? o.O Come on, how idiotic do we have to get. I am not even sure how the correlation between the two comes about. So for those of you who read this, please give me some insight.


The rest of the view seem to lie on the fundamental idea of religion and God.

Going through school we are taught of the Revolutionary War and our Founding Fathers. Also, how they founded the USA under certain principles. One being separation of church and state. Under the First Amendment, it states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the FREE PRACTICE of it." This means that the government cannot make a church perform a same-sex marriage. Nor does it mean that it can make a religion accept same-sex marriage.

While some people believe same-sex relationships are immoral, to each their own. I don't tell you how immoral your relationship is while you're married and sleeping with your neighbor. I mean I know we are suppose to love our neighbor as our self, but come on, I believe that is taking the Word a little too literal.

This next one just gets me so frustrated. "If gay's want to get married, they should just become straight and have a heterosexual marriage." Yes, why don't we do that, and while I am having a heterosexual wedding, why don't you bend over so I can  shove my foot up your ass. BEING GAY IS NOT A CHOICE. Why don't you choose to walk a mile in my shoes. CHOOSE TO BE GAY FOR A WEEK. If you don't think you can, how the hell do you expect me to choose to be straight for a life.

For those who think same-sex marriage is a "special" right. What is the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights about? I am pretty sure it is a base for equality. I am pretty sure there is no where in either document that states equal rights, unless you are gay. But then again, we had equal rights unless you are a woman, equal rights unless you are black. Isn't funny how history repeats itself, the subject might change, but the matter is usually always the same.

I'm blogging and I know it

Well, since I have such a demand from my fans, I am back. Sorry that I haven't been blogging, I was busy, you know, having a life and all. Ha, ok, I know I couldn't even say that with a straight face... Well ok, I can't really do anything with a straight face. My first of school semester went well... Second semester is in full swing, and I am not loving it. I met great friends last semester, and this semester is very lack-luster. I haven't really met anyone cool yet. I do have a few people who I would love to get rid of. Mister Know-it-all, and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb...

For those readers who are interested in my love life, haha jokes on you... oh well C'est la vie

Untill next time, when I know what to blog about

ERIC freakingfabulousBERRY

You may think that I'm a zero...

So, its been a long, long process... moving on, but sometimes, you cant pass up life.. You need to move on from the demons, ghosts from your past...  in order for true happiness to sink in... Thank you Farmer Jack for this insight... I blogged last about closure, and its something that I do have, but closure doesn't always equal moving on. Everyone searches for love, but what is love?

I know what I went through, and to say that it wasn't love, would be a lie... I did love him, and I will always have a spot of love for him, regardless what is said... Love, however will make you do crazy shit... I do talk a lot of shit and dwell on the bad in my past, but I can't do it anymore... focusing on the bad, is not beneficial nor condusive to anything.. So I would like to take this time to clear some things up...

My relationship with my ex, wasn't in all the way bad... We have several good times... We use to be the envy of everyone... Everyone wanted to have the relationship we had... We both truly did love each other, and cared deeply for each other... Its something that I don't think either one of us will ever out grow. Do I still think of him? Yes, he was my best friend and family for two years, you can't just cut that out of your life... Would you cut your mom, or dad, or grandparent out of your life? As much as you may think you can, or have tried and said you would, you can't... Its the same concept here... When we were good, we were amazing, but when we were bad, all hell would break loose... We were just too different of people, and in too different a place in our lives to be successful with a relationship, we moved way too fast, and that also was destructive... Within the first week of us seeing each other we had practically started living together, then life came at both of us full swing, and I honestly do not think either one of us were in a place to deal with it all, so we fell back on each other, but then we started blaming each other for our own faults... and it escalated from there... obstacle after obstacle came our way, and we had no idea how to handle it... things got way out of hand, and it was the ultimate end of our relationship...

I do not wish him anything but success in life... Holding a grudge will only prolong emotions i need to set free... I honestly in a sense want to thank him... Without being in this relationship, I dont think I would be at the level I am today... I see what I could of had, living pay check to pay check, no money, miserably depressed (not because of my ex mind you)... and I can't do that... Because of this, I am now in school, trying to better myself... and honestly, I don't think anyone can harbor bad feelings on that... I know this is another heavy post, but Its me being honest with myself, and my friends and family, and it needs to be said, I believe, in order for me to complete the phase of moving on... If my ex reads this, I am not trying to reach for an appology, but I want to say thank you, and I am sorry for everything that I've caused you...

until next time


ERICfreakingfabulousGENE

The scars of your love...

Closure... a word that means little to some, but a lot to me... tonight, I finally have it for real this time... I guess no matter how intense the psychiatrist sessions are, certain people never will change...

Life comes and goes, but its the memories we make, that guide our lives forever... Those who we love, and who love us, will keep our legacy alive even after we are gone... Sometimes, however there are memories we wish we would of never had... I know I wish I could take back a lot of things, however I can not... I am glad in a sense with what has happened... Life teaches us a lot, and however hard we wish there was a replay button or an erase button, sadly there isnt... Why do  bad things happen to good people? Its the one question, in my opinion, that will never be answered...

As much as I try to see the good in people, sometimes, there isn't good in a person... As much as I have struggled with my own faith and whats real, there is one fact that I will not deny... the fact that there is good, and evil in the world... Maybe the past two years were a test, and now its on to bigger and better things... One can only hope, and that's for sure what I need to focus on.... Doors are always going to open and close, but how do we know what door to choose next? Am I setting myself up for failure, or am I going through the door that will bring only happiness?

Happiness, I think we can all agree, is something everyone strives for. What and how we get it, are completely up to us... No matter how optimistic you are, shattered pieces cannot always be fixed... I have come to realize this, with the help of a couple different people... Sometimes, no matter how careful we are, shards of glass are still sharp and will cut you... its always better to sweep up the pieces, and move on...

There is always someone out there, that even when you are having a bad day, can and will put a smile on your face. Its inevitable, a text, or picture, or a simple reminder from that person is all that you need to make the pain go away. The scary thing is, is it real? or is it an illusion, a mindset of things are better. Neither is a defiant, or a good answer, but is delusion just a better state to be in than the real life? Is happiness a state of being, or is it a physical anomaly. I would like to think its a mixture of both... An amazing guy once told me he's searching for his happy spot... and it got me thinking... what technically is a happy spot? is it a place, a goal, or what exactly?

When I think of my happy spot, I like to picture myself, with a family of my own... Me and my partner are truly in love, and financially stable, raising our kids, living life, being happy... who or where that is, is a mystery, but we all strive for it... I've always said that I want to live on or near a beach, but when it boils down to it, a beach doesnt guarantee happiness... surrounding yourself with family, and friends, and your loved ones is true happiness... sometimes love needs to result in heartbreak in my opinion.

love is blind, and it surly was for me... If I had not gone through what I went through, I don't think I would be in the position I am in now. I am getting my life back on track, I have amazing friends back in my life that I never thought I would have, a family that I know will be there for me through everything, and I am now talking to this amazing guy whom I never probably would of met if I hadn't gone through what I did. Life is funny and horrible that way.

The sayings "What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger" and "Wipe the dirt off and keep going" come to mind here... I've been scared to death the past couple times, I can't even count how many times in the early morning hours I called my parents  because I was afraid I was going to die... but it taught me a lot about survival, I stuck with it through the worst part, that I can survive anything. I've been covered in dirt (metaphorically) for the past two years, and it honestly feels great to finally wipe it all off, breath clean air, and know I survived.

Life comes at you like a freight train, and its the choices that you make in it that shows character. Will you stand up for what you believe in, or will you coward and jump off to the side, missing the real journey to life? I've been jumping out of the trains way for far too long, Its time I stand up and face everything, leave no demons from my past to break me. Honestly, it feels so good to finally be where I am. I have a great family, and great friends that I can always count on to be there for me.. Now is the time I finally start my new chapter and new life, full on, no reservations, and I hope that this great guy will be there with me, all the way through it.

Until next time

ERICfreakingfabulousGENE

D-D-D-Dance dance dance till you're dead

I really have no point to blog about tonight, but I feel like I need to have some type of comic relief from the last post... it was so heart wrenching and all...

So I got a request to blog about a lame friend of mine. His names Nic... Hes actually pretty cool... He is a lame gamer nerd tho... Usually when I ask him whats up, He is gaming... No joke... its ok, hes a cool nerd so I guess its understandable... He does make a mean no baked cookie and chicken strips... He's also a self appointed Guru... He is full of insight and knowledge... Those of you who are lucky to know him... cool... those who arent... sorry buckaroos... you really should know him... other than that, I dont know what to say...

until next time

ERICfreakingfabulousGENE

You with the sad eyes...

So, I start school in less than two weeks :\ I'm still pretty uncertain still... Its a major step, and I have been out for five years, so its kind of putting me into a panic attack and anxiety is starting to settle in... and its starting to become more real... Is this really what I want to be doing? or what exactly do I want to do?

On a different note, I've been listening to "True Colors" on repeat the past couple days, hence the title for this blog (insert gay cliche' here)... it reminds me a lot of shit going on in my life and I'm not sure what or how to think... Am I really making the right choice in my life... I tried everything I could think of to try and save us, and I couldn't. Was it me that was the problem? I will agree I am a very difficult and stubborn person, but at the same time, I don't feel that I should of gone through everything I went through... If love is really like that, who would want it? Why would anyone want to suffer through it? Looking back, I do wish I would of ran every chance he gave me. Maybe I have so much regret because I can't forgive myself. I was so infatuated with being in love and being with him, that I refused to see what harm was going on. He could do no wrong  because I love him. And now, regardless of how bad I don't want to think about him, I can't. He was my family, my friend, my everything for two years. We had bad times, a lot, but we did have really good times as well. I just want peace in my life, and it seems impossible to find it, I don't know what to do either...


Everything has me questioning everything about my happiness... Will I even be able to find true happiness now? I have been talking to someone that makes me very happy, and I really enjoy talking to him, its just the distance part that sucks. Its almost as if I am setting myself up for failure. Its hard, esp when I wear my heart on my sleeve... I come off strong and abrasive but its not intentional. I am who I am, and I'm not going to be someone different. If someone doesn't like it, I really am sorry but I don't care

Well this has been a pretty heavy serious blog... I swear it wont happen often so until next time...

PS. I MISS MY KYLIE WILEY, MY SCARLET COCK :(

ERICfreakingfabulousGENE

The sun will come out tomorrow..

So this blog is dedicated to the loving memory of my dear sister Stacy Marine... She was a lovely lass... Looked just like me with long hair... I shall miss her dearly... Cause of death, I do have to say was she was cutting things while I was trying to watch Bones... let this be a lesson to you all... GRRR... but she was full of partly sunny emotions mixed with rain showers, thunderstorms, and hail... When she got going, you better watch out, she could run through a door, well not really through, but hard enough to jam it shut for a while... She was a ghusty girl... people who knew her best, such as words with friends, called her a slut... While others called hear Minx... she was a shady little fucker at times... posting things while normal people are sleeping... the truth is she will be missed dearly... esp on days like today... the gloomy clouds, with the rain, its just like her personality... now next time I see a tornado... I know, the wrath of my sister is noticed...

until next time

ERICfreakingfabulousGENE